i don't know if this is going to make sense

... but sometimes i wish i could just sit down with someone and look straight into their eyes and tell them everything, every wish i’ve ever made every dream i’ve ever had, my idea of a perfect day and childhood memories, anything and everything that i think is important. just let it all out, let my thoughts go straight to my voice without them being processed and scanned and edited until i’ve finally run out of things to say. i waste so much time talking about things that don’t matter in the long run, stupid, unimportant things. i forget those conversations but it’s the ones about life and beauty and love that i remember, those are the ones that matter. i want to tell them about my ideal photograph or what i want my future to be like or what i picture my first relationship to be like or to describe the house i lived in until i was seven or what it is that makes me cry. i’m so young but sometimes i feel like i could explode or collapse or burst under all this pressure of who i want to be and who i am and who i was because it’s all bouncing around my mind and my heart and i can feel it but i can’t let it out. i want to talk about important things, serious things, things that mean something but i can never find the right words, the right people, the right time.