i end up in the kitchen i end up in front of the refrigerator in front of the door i open quietly to be bathed in the light that would startle phantoms the light that makes me glow like a midnight visitation. and i stand there and i wonder what i am doing i wonder what i should do and i don’t know i don’t know what to do i don’t know whether to take to hold to stay to walk away and i think— that is it, that is everything and i sit on the kitchen tile and i stare into that light with all the plastic colors behind it all the cold that is not the real air. all the feelings are dead inside me and i want them to be alive.

-the realm of possibility