Monday, November 30, 2009

She was giving the world
So much that she couldn't see
And she needed someone to show her,
who she could be.
And she tried to survive
Wearing her heart on her sleeve
And I needed you to believe
-demi lavato
I don't wanna be afraid, i wanna wake up feeling beautiful today and know that I'm okay.
- Demi Lovato
Embracing the fact that you’re different is the one of the hardest things to do but I think that if you get to the place where you can look at being different as a blessing and not a curse that’s when life becomes a lot easier.

-Taylor Swift

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us; don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

blogsecret=my life, no joke

I lost tons of friends and ever since, I've become a different person. I'm not sure if I like it or not but my life has become odd. My mom keeps questioning me about the future but hell, I don't even know what I'm going to have for breakfast tomorrow morning. I'm is on the verge of killing myself. I still wonder what it'd be like if I hadn't made all those mistakes. Wondering makes me depressed, I don't know what to do.
I’m still fascinated by how we treat each other and relationships and the prospect of finding your happily ever after and that’s who I was when I was fifteen I just I learned a lot you know you have to live and you have to try to keep yourself from getting banged up and your heart from getting bruised but you also keep that childlike outlook on maybe this person that I met last night could be someone that ends up being prince charming.

-Taylor Swift



Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sometimes I lie awake all night and think of all the wrong that could be right. Sometimes I sit and think for hours; and think about what means so much to me, but it's funny how it always seems to end up, me feeling bad about things that aren't even messed up. And then I wonder what the future's gonna be like, what's tomorrow gonna bring? And then I wonder do I take each day for granted? And do I think enough about today? Sometimes I look at everyone and the role they play in everyday.
the function of music is to release us
from the tyranny of conscious thought
I've already lost everything that's ever made any kind of sense.
I hope someday you'll find all of my quotes,
all my words, and you'll read them all.
I could stand by the side and watch this life pass me by, so unhappy, safe as could be. so what if it hurts me . so what if i break down? i gotta find my place, i wanna hear my sound. i don't care about all the pain in front of me, cause i'm just trying to be happy
-leona lewis

Monday, November 23, 2009

I just don't feel like I know myself very
well right now, so how can I be sure about
anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward,
you know, like I don't belong in my own skin,
and I get so frustrated at everything, I could
just scream and there's no reason for it.
We are all a little damaged, some of us hide it better than others, but on some level we are all torn up. We take it out on others, and beat through life carrying it all. And we will end up damaging someone else. Most of the time we won't notice, nor care, because we are too busy with our own little disaster.

things that bother me

Eat that chocolate cake, get your hair wet, love someone, dance in those muddy puddles, tell someone off, draw a picture with crayons like you’re still 6 years old and then give it to someone who is very important to you. Take a nap, go on vacation, do a cartwheel, make your own recipe, dance like no one sees you, paint each nail a different color, take a bubble bath, laugh at a corny joke, get on that table and dance. Pick strawberries, take a jog, plant a garden, make an ugly shirt and wear it all day, learn a new language, write a song, date someone you wouldn’t usually go for, make a scrap book, go on a picnic, relax in the sun, make your own home video, kiss the un-kissed, hug the un-hugged, love the unloved and live your life to the fullest. So when you’re standing in front of Heaven’s gate that chosen day, you’ll have no regrets, no sorrows, no disappointments.
Sometimes, it’s easier to say that you’re fine instead of having to explain all the reasons why you’re not.

wow...

Friday, November 20, 2009


Everyone has that one band/singer that they love above all the rest, the one that makes their bad days better. the one they can listen to over and over and not get sick. the one who means the most and they love with every inch of their heart♥
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts.
It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black.
-Rolling Stones
It’s not just about keeping your head above water it’s about feeling comfortable and safe in your own skin.
— pete wentz talking about his suicide attempt and depression
Sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and feel okay at the person looking back
-Pete Wentz
I am terrified to really live. Instead I just go through the motions and exist. I know I was made for so much more than this.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

fuck. im so sad

I should walk outside and run away. I should run far away and find a new place, new people. So why am i still here, hopelessly sitting alone and crying?